Photo by Bruce Tuten


Did you make a “resolution” to lose weight in 2012? If so, I bet you think I’m going to tell you that New Year’s resolutions don’t work and that you should focus on setting goals or make a “lifestyle change” or something like that instead. If you think that’s what this newsletter is going to say, you’re about to be surprised.

New Year’s resolutions DO work—even weight loss ones. You may have set the same New Year’s resolution every year since 1979, but that doesn’t mean that this won’t be the year that it happens. How do I know this? Because after 15 years of setting the same resolution to lose 40 pounds, 2011 was the year that I finally did it.

What made the difference this year? Was it some new diet I discovered or a pill I took? No. I’ve been on every diet known to mankind—some more than once. I’ve never taken shots or diet pills, but I know people who have and some have lost weight and some haven’t.

In fact, that is the case with EVERY diet. Some people lose weight and some people don’t. If the diet is the same for everyone, then the variable must be the people who go ON the diet. But many of us have had the experience of a diet “working” for us, and then the next time we try it, it doesn’t work. So, if it’s not the diet, and it’s not the person on the diet, what is it? What makes the difference between a successful weight loss effort and one that is doomed?

It’s your mind.

Now, you may be saying, “Traci. That’s not true! I want to lose this weight. You have no idea. I’m committed. I have the right mindset. It’s just…”

And I’m sitting here telling you that it is your mindset and until you change that mindset, you can try every diet on the planet and you’ll still be fat. But once you change your mindset, you can do any diet and it will work.

Here are the three things you need to do in order for your weight loss New Year’s resolution to work.

1. Understand that it’s not about the food. You’re not overweight because you like food too much. This may be the case if you have five or ten pounds to lose—but if you’ve only got a small amount to lose you're probably not making a New Year’s resolution about it. No, if you have a significant amount of weight to lose, it’s because of something else. Until you are ready to look at it, no diet in the world will make a difference.

For me, this meant that I had to take a hard look at my life and the things that weren’t working. It was scary and I can see why I didn't want to deal with it for fifteen years. But I had a choice. I could look at what was keeping me fat and deal with it, or I could stay fat. You can pick either one, but trust me when I say, there IS something that you’re trying not to look at or deal with. Once you deal with it, you’ll be able to lose the weight. Not a day sooner.

2. You need to put yourself first. This is sacrilegious to many of us—especially those of us with kids. But I have noticed a strong correlation between people who are overweight and those who put everyone else’s needs first. This isn’t to say that you need to become a selfish jerk (not that you could even if you wanted to… you either are a selfish jerk or you’re not). But you need to start putting yourself at the very top of your to-do list. This means valuing yourself enough to say no to things that will take you away from your goal and enough to say yes to the things that will move you in the direction of your goal.

This was a tough one for me, too. I have two young children. But I had a moment of truth one day in December 2010 where I realized that, because I’d been letting everyone’s else’s needs come first for so long, I had nothing left to give. Nothing. And until I refilled my own soul, I wasn’t going to be of use to my children. By putting my own needs first, and telling everyone no and telling myself yes, I was allowing myself to be the best mother I could be. This meant joining a gym and making the time to go. It meant not making different meals for every dietary preference in the family and telling my family that I was making one dinner and they were free to make something else if they didn’t like it. It meant delegating some of the chores in the house that the other people were perfectly capable of doing. It rocked the foundation of our world, but it was the first step in being able to lose the weight.

3. You need to have a plan. Before, when I said that any diet will work, I meant it. But, you still need to pick one and follow it. You can pick Weight Watchers, Atkins, Jenny Craig, or any diet plan. You can count calories or carbs. It doesn’t matter which one you pick, it matters that you pick one and do it. And if it stops working for you, then take a look at why, pick something else and start over again. Never EVER give up. It may take five years, but if you don’t give up, you haven’t failed. You need to focus on one pound at a time. I didn’t lose 40 pounds. I lost one pound forty times.

Even though I lost 40 pounds in 2011, I’ve lost 65 pounds altogether since 2007. I lost 25 pounds by making some different food and beverage choices (I’m talking to YOU, Caramel Frappuccino) and by exercising. Then, I stabilized for two years, but still had quite a bit of weight to lose. In 2011, I was on a commercial diet plan, lost about ten pounds and then stopped losing. It was then that I learned point #1. It wasn’t about which diet I was following. It was about what was eating me, emotionally. In April I began to take a serious look at my life, started counting calories, had a huge setback in May, got back on the wagon, and lost the rest of the weight by July.

People often ask me, “Is it hard to maintain the weight loss?” And, I tell them, “No, not at all.” My oldest daughter, who has never had a weight problem has said to me that it's easier to maintain weight loss than it is to lose it. And in some sense this is true. But, this is only true if you’ve done the work to change from the inside out. I don’t have to really watch what I eat because I am not trying to fill an emotional hole anymore. I eat what I want until I am full. And, I weigh myself a couple of times a week and check and see how my pants fit every day. If I gain a couple of pounds, I watch it for a day or three, and it goes back down.

So, as you’re moving into 2012 and looking at your weight loss resolutions, ask yourself the tough questions. Am I willing to look at what I’ve been avoiding? Am I willing to put myself first? What is my plan?

As always, if you want to talk with me personally about your weight loss resolutions or any other Whole Life challenge, you can set an appointment with me here…

Until next time,
Traci