Photo by Ben Heine

“No matter what I do I can never seem to make ends meet. My wife and I make a reasonable income, cut expenses wherever we can, and do not indulge in many of the “extra” things in life. Despite this, we are always living paycheck-to-paycheck. Other than taking on an extra job, what can I do to bring more prosperity into my life?”

Signed,
Pauper in Pleasantville

Dear Pauper,
If you are living from paycheck to paycheck with little left over for savings or fun, welcome to the club! You are certainly in good company. The headlines are screaming about unemployment rates, the financial crisis in Europe, and other financial bad news. Credit card debt is at an all time high. The costs of living are rising, and we are in the midst of a baby boom. More middle class Americans are worried about money more than ever. How can you fight this trend?

Let me offer you some hope. There are some things that you can do to positively turn your money life around. Nearly every personal development book, tape, or expert has advice on increasing your wealth.

The amazing thing is, the advice is practically all the same. Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki, Earl Nightingale, and Paul Zane Pilzer (among many others) all use different words to say the same basic thing.

What you think about money determines how much money you have. It is all a matter of attitude.

The first attitude mistake most folks fall into is waiting passively for their money situation to change. They get up in the morning, go to work, come home, and do the very same thing again the next day. Ten years goes by, and they wonder why their financial situation stays the same. “I sure wish I could get a bigger house…” “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had a better job?” It is as if these people are waiting for a fairy godmother to come along and wave a magic wand to give them all the money they desire.

It doesn’t work that way. The old saying, “You can’t get something for nothing” applies to money too.

“But I am not expecting something for nothing, I work 40-50 hours a week! That’s not something for nothing!”

True. But then I have one question for you. If you are working that hard, and are still poor, doesn’t that lead you to think that maybe you are doing it wrong? Maybe working 40-50 hours a week isn’t the answer.

“Okay, then. What do you want me to do? Quit my job? Go fishing?”

No, that’s not the answer either. If you want to change your finances, you need to change your attitude about money. The first thing you have to do is DECIDE that you are going to change your financial situation once and for all. Instead of just wishing and hoping, you need to take action to make it happen. Unless you win the lottery, no one can change your financial situation but you.

“So, what does it take to change your financial situation? If working harder isn’t the answer, then what is?”

You need to look at your thoughts about money. Anthony Robbins says in Get The Edge, “Most people have mixed associations to what it would take to have more money, as well as it would mean to have excess money.” In other words, if you don’t have enough money in your life, it’s because there is something in your mind that is holding you back.

Maybe you have a negative mental image of “rich, snobby people.” Or, maybe you think that in order to have more money you’d have to sacrifice too much—time away from your family, compromise your values. Maybe you are afraid that your friends and family would be jealous of you, and you would have trouble in your close relationships. Now, I am not recommending that you spend weeks on a psychotherapist’s couch figuring out what your deep fears are about having money. The fact is, it doesn’t matter what you used to think. What matters is what you think now.

In 1937 Napoleon Hill wrote his classic Think and Grow Rich. The first chapter is entitled “Thoughts are Things”. In this book, Hill goes on to describe an elaborate plan to accumulate wealth by changing the things we think about on a daily basis.

What do you think about? Do you think you are poor? Listen to the thoughts that go through your mind all day long. Do you tell yourself, “I’ll never be able to afford that! That is too expensive!”

My bet is that you spend a great deal of time thinking about your lack of money. From the minute you wake up in your too-small home, driving to work in your old car, thinking about vacations you can’t afford to take, and clipping coupons to going to bed worrying about the high cost of living. According to Hill’s philosophy, if you spend your day thinking about how poor you are, you will continue to remain poor.

So, my recommendation to you is two-fold. First, look at your attitude about money. Remember that what you think is what you become. If you spend your time thinking about how little you have, that is exactly what you will create. If, on the other hand, you spend your time finding the riches you actually have, not only will you be happier, but you will also draw increased prosperity into your life.

Do you live in a tiny apartment or home? You can spend your days moaning about how small your place is, or you can spend your time making it into a cozy, pleasant place to be. You can look at your friends who have nicer things than you, or you can compare yourself to the poverty stricken and homeless. Wealth is a state of mind, not a state of finance.

The second part of my advice may seem strange. Use the law of Cause and Effect. It is true that what we give out is exactly what we get back in the world and that if you don’t like the effect you are seeing then you need to change the cause. If you need more money in your life, then you need to help increase the wealth of someone else. Stop focusing on getting rich yourself, and start focusing on how you can enrich the lives of the people around you. As Robert Kiyosaki says in his book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, “Whenever you feel ‘short’ or in ‘need’ of something, give what you want first and it will come back in buckets. That is true for money, a smile, love, friendship.” Or, as the good book puts it, “As you sow, you shall reap.”

For personalized advice or coaching, visit Intentional Coaching at www.intentionaldesign.com/coachingforlife

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From 12/15/2011 to 1/15/2012, Traci Shoblom is offering a Whole Life Strategic Planning Workshop exclusively through intentionaldesign.com. In two, one-on-one telephone coaching sessions, with an assignment in between, you''ll have the opportunity to consider ten key areas that make up Traci's Whole Life Success System. Read More